If we could be one of the disciples after the resurrection... touched His wounds like Thomas, or knelt to look into the tomb like Peter and John, or heard His voice call our name like Mary Magdelene, or watch Him cook breakfast on the shore, we would be in wonder. And yet, sometimes we aren't. Or we stop being so. All-sufficient merit stops becoming awe-inspiring. We get too used to the story. We are thankful but not overly so. We lose sight of just how incredible the sacrifice and subsequent resurrection of Jesus really is. And we certainly don't live as though this reality has utterly turned the world upside down. Because if we did, troubling events would've disturb us so much because we know Who has overcome the world. Who rules kingdoms and governments wouldn't be as angering because we'd know their hearts are in the hand of the Lord, being turned as He pleases (Prov. 21:1). We would recognize that the one singular event all those millennia ago changed everything, leaving us with peace in the midst of it all.
But we are also asked to carry a cross of our own, to "share in the sufferings" of the Christ (1 Pet. 4:13) as we bear our burdens in this life. And that cross can sometimes feel like its own three hundred pounds, leaving us to stagger under its weight. There are moments when we also ask God why and feel as though we've been forsaken. Yet our comfort in such seasons is that Jesus already passed this way. He carried His cross for you so yours doesn't have to have the last word. All the pains and sorrows and reactions that hurt you now were paid for through Him. And, like Simon of Cyrene who took on the weight of Jesus' cross because He was too physically weak to carry it all the way Himself (Matt. 27:32), Jesus comes up to you and picks up the weight of your cross and says, Here... let me help you bear that. My yoke is easy and My burden is light. You do not do this alone. Our crosses become bearable because He bore His.
So as we see the cross now, we see triumph. We see hope. Because Jesus did the impossible... endured the unthinkable... for your sake and mine. He even said that He could command a host of angels to rescue Him from that experience (Matt. 26:53), but He didn't. He knew He came for that one event in time. All of His earthly life had been a lead-up to that exact act of unconditional love and it's because of that act of love that we can have a second chance. But for us to fully grasp it - however much we can - we have to see ourselves in Christ's place. You don't know what you've been spared until you've seen what someone went through on your behalf. The cross must be personal in order to be profoundly life-changing.
As we reflect this Holy Week... as we read the passages, sing the songs, gather and celebrate with those we love... may we also hear the pounding of nails, imagine the spilling of divine blood, and also the cry of "It is finished" that change the trajectory of humanity forever. For it is in allowing ourselves to realize that His wounds were ours that we can also understand that "by His stripes we have been healed" (Isaiah 53:5). "Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows... He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities... All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, every one, to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all" (Isaiah 53:4-6).
Then, I felt something in my spirit say...
What if I did this to simply show you that I can? What if I allowed these things just so you could know that I see you and hear your prayers? What if this isn't about the actual thing at all but about you knowing that I intimately know you and I can move heaven and earth to get to you?
Suddenly, my questioning gave way to deeper faith as I saw that, whether or not these things happen in the way, time, or place that I envisioned is not the point. What is the point is that a Sovereign God knows your story. He knows your life. He hears your prayers and your cries for certain things. He isn't deaf or blind to what we go through. It all matters to Him because He knows it matters to us. And sometimes, He lets things happen so we'll see His hand and know that He can do it. He is fully capable in every way.
In this crazy world we live in, it can be easy to forget, in our humanness, the ability of God. The fact that God is able to do things "above all that we ask or think" can sometimes get lost on us or taken for granted. We can stop believing Him for big answers and outcomes. We can stop praying big prayers because we think some things are just too hard or large for even Him to handle. And there are moments when He has to allow something to go on that shakes us out of our unbelief and reminds us, Oh yeah... He's got this!
While I'm still hoping that one or two of these opportunities come to fruition in their own time and manner, I'm also taking where life is at right now as a win because so far, in this year, God's used it to just remind me that He knows about all of it - and that's enough. I don't have to see the end of the story. I don't have to insist on a particular result. I can keep being faithful and showing up in my life because God is the Author of how it ends.
Sometimes life is about waiting... and then waiting some more. I've spent many years waiting on some things that I feel God has promised to fulfill and, of late, I'm growing weary of waiting...and asking... and waiting again. And just when it looked like some things might finally come together, it all slowed up once more and now I'm back to waiting again. I have to be okay with that. And you do also when it comes to certain delays or denials in your own life. God has the right to accelerate or pause the story whenever and however He wills. The important part is that we stay in the story with Him. We know He's never going to abandon us on the journey. We just need to be certain that we don't abandon Him just because we failed to receive what we desired from Him.
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